Friday, September 15, 2006


When reading about the unfathomably stupid things most young celebrities do and say, I always have the same thought: "Boy, am I glad I wasn't a celebrity when I was in my late teens and early twenties."

Think about it. For anyone reading this who is in that age category now, try not to take what I'm about to write personally and try to appreciate the perspective of a decade's worth of therapy and personal growth, thanks to the choices I made when I was your age. Ok? P.S. Everything gets much better. Be patient.

19-25 are our stupidest years. We are convinced we've got it all figured out, know how to live our lives all by ourselves, thank you very much. We are blind to consequences and committed to having our own way at any cost.

We binge drink, engage in reckless behavior of all sort, our selfishness and stupidity makes us the most undesirable mate a person can imagine. Yet youth and beauty tend to override this, and we engage in a series of unwise couplings and drama-filled uncouplings that, thanks to our immaturity, wrecks our jobs, school, and friendships.

Think back to the 22-year old version of yourself. Would you be your friend? Now imagine your 22-year old self is an actor, a musician, an heiress, with all the accompanying papparazzi, vicious gossip, and untoward scrutiny into your life.

Before you even start, I'm not in any way offering up a pity party for the likes of Paris Hilton or Nicole Ritchie. They are stupid and hypocritical--if you whore for fame you can't complain.

Here's the deal: Answer these burning questions (in the comments)

1. What would you have been famous for at age 22?
2. In which downward spiral would you have fallen? a)drugs and booze, b)political activism, c)hookers and/or sex scandal
3. Describe your comeback

Extra points for decade-appropriate references.


Blogger Trouble said...

1. At age 22 I was a single mom, a vegetarian and environmentalist. I was not a hippy. I was totally into political activism, so I would probably be famous for taking on abortion protestors. Like, say, shooting them.

2. Probably all of the above (well, not drugs so much, not my thing)

3. I would have fixed things from the inside by becoming a politician.

11:40 AM  
Blogger marty said...

In 1978, at age 22, I would have been Tony Manero from Saturday Night Fever.

Tight shorts would have been my downfall.

Quentin Tarantino would have resurrected my career by casting me in one of his films.

7:40 PM  
Blogger LisaBinDaCity said...

Hmmm, I think my answers are gonna have to be censored. I don't want to be famous NOW for my bad behavior back then ;-)

7:05 AM  
Blogger Oob said...

Being that I'm not far out from that age range, I'm not sure I should comment! lol :)
I was an oblivious grad student at that age, completely protected by my comfy bubble of academia. Had I not been, I'd have been a pop music star fallen to the wayside due to a. and c.! My comeback would have included a biography, with book tour and movie in the works. LOL

1:00 PM  
Blogger Absinthe said...

1)i would have been a break-out new DJ (age 22=1999=relentless clubbing and drinking for me)
2)alcohol, alcohol, alcohol. i'm not sure i didn't actually fall into this downward-spiral, but thankfully it wasn't televised for all the world to see. i probably would also had a Vegas marriage Britney-style. i always wanted a Vegas quickie-marriage, and i'm not ruling it out completely for my future.
3)my comeback would be my best-selling novel in which i depict life as a modern, young woman without being too chick lit-y. i would be hailed "the voice of my generation." but most of the scenesters from my actual generation would hate me.

that was fun!
what else you got?

1:22 PM  

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