Screed: Overalls

Never a "do"

Who should wear overalls:

* Children under 10
* Grownups who work in messy occupations, such as farming
and hog butchering
* Psychotics, especially those in horror movies
* Pregnant ladies

Who should not wear overalls:

* You

UPDATE:

I know why you want to wear them and why you already know you're wrong:

1. "I'm a little overweight and don't want to buy the next size up."

Overalls add at least two sizes to your body and emphasize all the wrong areas.

2. "They're so-o-o-o cute/ironic/retro. Remember 'Come On Eileen'?"

No, they aren't. They are so-o-o-o atrocious. Everyone (even that person that tells you how cute you look) is laughing at you behind your back. Sometimes they get together and mock you so mercilessly, a drink gets snorked up someone's nose.

3. "I'm doing something crafty, or working outside (raking, mowing, gardening, painting)."

People that do those things professionally don't wear overalls. Usually they wear jeans, Dickies, or some sort of heavy-duty zip suit. You'll be more comfortable in sweats and a t-shirt, honey. And then you won't look like an overgrown toddler.

If the guy pictured above didn't automatically convince you overalls are wrong, I hope my little screed did the trick.