Good advice and Movie Ratings

YaYa 

I think I give pretty good advice to those who seek it. It's sort of a "Take my advice, I'm not using it" situation. Worse, I tend not to take anyone's good advice. Invariably, I have a coulda-had-a-V8 moment once my failure to follow good advice results in disaster.

Usually, this advice takes the form of "Don't". For some reason, the word "don't" ignites a passionate response in the opposite direction. In other words, I can't wait to "Do". Previously in my life, this led to some spectacular mistakes.

I've learned--I swear I've learned. Plus, I've had lots of therapy to deprogram my brain from being a whirling batshit spaz.

There I was, bored and sore from the gym, on the couch with the remote. I don't usually watch TV much--half because I'm easily distracted by shiny objects, half because TV is wretched. Anyhoo, I was flipping channels and came across "Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood". I paused, feeling guilty and ashamed. You see, I've never seen the movie because it looked retarded, more importantly, I have never watched the movie because my sister Allie said, "Under no circumstances...and I'm being serious...Don't ever see the movie "Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood".

Naturally I want to know why. Giving me her most solemn and meaningful stare, she said, "Just don't". I love my sister very much and I value her opinion on all things, because of the four of us sisters, she's the most practical and responsible. So, instead of defying her good advice, I just decided it had to be really retarded and forgot all about it.

So, I'm watching the opening credits of this movie and it does indeed look to be exceptionally retarded. I can't, however, make my fingers pick up the remote and change the channel. I watched the whole damn thing. Now I know why she recommended I not see this movie. There's something in it that triggers horrible memories and feelings. I was disturbed anyway, but damn.

Of course Allie's right, she's always right. Of course I didn't listen, I never listen. We both saw "Prince of Tides"--even after reading the book, and we were fucked up for a long time.

Ever since I became damaged by "Trainspotting", I've enacted a peculiar rating for movies: DBF or The Dead Baby Factor. I absolutely cannot tolerate any movie that has scenes of kids in mortal danger, or dead kids. I will absolutely walk out. So, I didn't see any movie until a friend or relative saw it, to determine the DBF. The list of movies I was told had a DBF I still haven't (and won't) watch.

Now I must enact a new rating: PHMT or Potential Horrible Memory Triggers. I also must learn to take advice, even for something as simple as movies. I'll start there and work up to taking good advice about real life.

P.S. "Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood" is retarded.