Thursday, March 16, 2006

Archnemesis

All Superheros worth their tights have one; an unrepentantly evil being set against the superhero and heartily working the opposite of the superhero's ideals and goals. The Yang, the Ego, the Villain.

Supertutor found in Officious Busybody such a challenging creature. She stalks the tutoring space, making use of every opportunity to nag, cajole, annoy, and otherwise boss around anyone who crosses her path. OB is physically slight, so she developed other means of intimidation:

"What are you doing? You should be...! I want you to ... for me, mmkay?"

"I'm not happy that you're..."

"Listen,..."

"Didn't I ask you to ... a few minutes ago?"

"I would never eat that. I am a VEGETARIAN." (Sniff)


I need you to go ahead and take note that OB is a tiny, prettier version of Bill Lumbergh from "Office Space". Her uniform consists of expensive, painted-on jeans, fashionable blouse, and hipster hairdo.

Supertutor's face freezes into a mask of barely-contained rage, yet she soldiers on with patient, helpful tutoring, shielding the tutee from the distracting and infuriating petty bullshit of OB. Passive/aggressive behavior is our hero's Kryptonite: the whiny insinuations and veiled threats drive Supertutor to her crippled knees.

Sensing her enemy's pain, OB returns again and again, veering from her well-worn path of Monitoring and Overseeing to ask a boy reading a book if he's reading, and ask a girl who is coughing to be quiet. OB smiles at Supertutor, relishing the agony displayed in her twitching grimace.

As Supertutor leaves for the day, OB smiles a big pre-redemption, still evil, Grinch grin and says, "Bye Supertutor, see you next week."

2 Comments:

Blogger LisaBinDaCity said...

I think there is one of those evil beings in every single office. I feel your pain!

10:30 AM  
Blogger marty said...

Trouble, I specialize in asshole control.

How can I help?

1:33 PM  

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