Wednesday, March 08, 2006

Lighten Up!

Hello, Welcome to the Mental Health Hotline!

If you are obsessive-compulsive, please press 1 repeatedly.
If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2.
If you have multiple personalities, please press 3, 4, 5 and 6.
If you are paranoid-delusional, we know who you are and what you want. Just stay on the line so we can trace the call.
If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.
If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transferred to the mother ship.
If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the # key until a representative comes on the line.
If you are dyslexic, press 696969696969.
If you have amnesia, press 8 and state your name, address, phone, date of birth, social security number and your mother's maiden name.
If you have post-traumatic stress disorder, slowly and carefully press 000.
If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
If you are menopausal, hang up, turn on the fan, lie down & cry. You won't be crazy forever.
If you have a masochistic complex, please press "0" for the operator. There are 200 calls ahead of you.
If you are depressed, it doesn't matter which number you press. No one will answer.

3 Comments:

Blogger Leave It To Cleavage said...

I love that joke. It was just sent around my office today as a wave file.

Ok, why is my word verification so long?? rruamjmk

3:02 PM  
Blogger marty said...

What about us anal retentives? Don't we count?

7:47 PM  
Blogger Trouble said...

Marty, that falls under the "Obsessive-Compulsive" disorder. I should know!

7:40 AM  

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