Thursday, November 09, 2006

Bartender Wisdom

It was one of my favorite scenes: a nearly-empty bar, perfectly-poured Guinness, SportsCenter on 4 TVs, decent pub food and a friendly bartender.

For you single ladies out there; he's in his early '30s, good looking, intelligent, sweet, and a fireman. Also: Hoping he has a permit for 'dem guns!

So, naturally, as is my wont, I struck up a conversation with this hottie bartender. Not flirting, mind you, just passing the time and amusing myself. I certainly don't want to share anything about myself, but I'm just dying to know everything there is to know about this total stranger. For no particular reason.

I know, I know: get a hobby.

10 Beer-Nuggets of Wisdom from HB:

1. People gravitate towards the kind of people they grew up with. e.g. No matter how diabolical girls are who grew up in Staten Island, Brooklyn, and Queens, the local boys will choose them over someone nicer/saner/better-looking.

2. You know all you need to know about a person by knowing where they grew up.

3. Women who expect a man to give them the world, when they themselves have nothing to give, got problems.

4. Too many young people are trying to get into bars and such. They should have house parties and so on, like we did when we were kids.

5. Single girls in Manhattan are scary.

6. Guys in the outerboroughs are mostly blue-collar types. You know, cops, firemen, guys in the military, so on. Hard-working types.

7. These days its hard to tell when a girl in a club is a stripper or a hooker.

8. He gots no use for computers. They ain't real, and nothing good comes from it.

9. You can tell alot about a person right away by their accent. (He pegs me as being from Philadelphia. Close enough. He doesn't elaborate on what that might mean about my character.)

10. He does say I smile too much. I blamed the Guinness, but he didn't appear convinced. Smiling too much is a cover-up, he says. Damn straight, I say.


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