This question spells your doom!

Think back to your last job interview. Did the interviewer ask you this question (or some variation on the theme)?: "Tell us three positive things about you, and three negative things."

You probably either completely panicked, or thought, "Ooh, here's my chance to nail this interview!" So you said something knuckleheaded or you said something that was completely misread by the interviewer. Know why? It's a flawed question, that's why. Whatever you say, the interviewer's been indoctrinated into believing that you are subconsciously telling them what you are REALLY like, by your choice of words, your darting eyes, your sweaty palms, and your shuffling feet.

It is indeed dangerous to get me started on HR concepts (snort), but I will throw this one little swipe out there: HR Departments should be abolished. They are an abomination and they know it. A full-length rant is available by request.

What is the secret to answering the doom question? Pencils ready, people. Preparation. Know that they will ask, and have your answers ready, but not obviously ready. Maintain eye contact and don't be afraid to smile. Relax. Breathe. Now answer the question without really answering it. What? You read me.

In preparation for this interview, dummy, you matched your previous experience with the job description. You now have the rapt attention of the people interviewing you, who are waiting to plug your standard responses into their chart of deviant behavior signals. Instead, you will sell yourself for the job in question, which is (DER!) what you should be doing, anyway, not submitting to a psychological exam.

The trick, of course, is being smooth and subtle about it. You have to work the words "positive" (often) and "negative" (once) into your spiel, and it better be good. If the job description calls for someone with a specialized skill, you are a damn guru at it. If it calls for someone with initiative, pepper your speech with words such as: bold, innovative, creative, unprecedented, etc. They are looking for you to say "I am..." instead, you will say, "I do..."

How do I know this? I studied HR Concepts with the same pigfuckers who are driving everyone batshit in Corporate America. I kid you not: most HR classes were centered around moving up through the corporate ranks as a HR professional--the rest was bullshit you feed to said corporate ranks to make you look necessary.

So, Congratulations on your job interview! Go get 'em, Tiger, and don't ever forget that the HR person is your enemy. Ergo, prepare for battle.