Oy

Like my sunburn? 

Superfly and I spent a somewhat-tortuous weekend in the Hamptons. I know, that's hard to believe, isn't it? Suffice to say it wasn't what we expected, we were often miserable, and arriving home was Heaven.

Speaking of Heaven and Hell, I got the mother of all sunburns while sitting on Haven's Beach in Sag Harbor. Let me just say that it was so overcast, I thought it would rain any second. It didn't occur to me to put on sunscreen until a passerby told me I was pink. Oh, to be pink again. I am fire engine, lobster, hot Mustang Cobra red, scalp to toenails. All I need is horns and a tail to send people fleeing in mortal terror. Indeed, usually grim-faced strangers on the street are staring at me, even slowing their Death March to take a good look. I am not a monster! Er, well, I guess that depends upon whom you ask.

Anyway, I went to the deli at lunchtime to load up on green beans and sesame tofu and was chagrined to see people shrinking over to the opposite side of the sneeze guard from me. Went to the counter with my steaming plastic box and a 20oz. Dr. Brown's (Black Cherry) and, for the love of Elvis, came up short by $1.29. Before I could ask the Korean lady to subtract the soda, a man handed her $2 and smiled very sweetly at me. I thanked him and he wished me a nice day. Yes, this happened in New York City, folks.

Of course, on my return to the office, my co-workers pointed out that I was redder than when I left. As if that's possible!

So if you see the ocean of pedestrians parting like the red sea, and hear lots of gasping, look for a girl whose skin is redder than her hair. That smell you're trying to place is Aloe Vera gel. I'm encased in cool green jelly.

I'd love to hear your worst/best sunburn story. Especially if it's worse than mine. Do tell!