Funny, I don't feel disabled.

I think I'll resist getting the Handicap plates, just so I can get a good spot at the mall, but it does answer the question of why there are 100 handicap spots at a given shopping mall.

I "won" my Hearing, if you can call it winning. I am officially disabled and on the dole with Social Security. I know it's for the best, enough medical professionals have told me working full-time puts too much stress on my illness, and that I need to make my health Priority #1, but it still feels like failure.

I've been working since Jr. High. I worked through high school, college, and almost every day since, even when I was a "stay-at-home" mom to 4. I got up at 5:00am and worked at Starbucks until my ex had to go to work. Then I wrote magazine articles or bartended, after the kids went to bed, and taught aerobics on the weekends. Hello, driven?

Contemplating a life without salary, benefits, office drama, etc., is spooky to me. I will concentrate on wellness, sure, but eventually I'll have to volunteer, or something, I'll go apeshit. Right now I'm still reeling. Oh, I forgot to mention: when I was driving back from my Hearing, my boss called on my cell and fired me.

2% of the population is Bipolar. You definitely know someone affected. It's really no different than someone with MS or Diabetes, it just affects a different organ. But I bet diabetics don't get the hairy eyeball from people when they see "Diabetes" on their chart. The ignorant comments and blatant discrimination I've received from medical professionals (shouldn't they know better?) is obscene. For example, I'm standing in Superfly's apartment, head-to-toe in hives and wheezing my brains out, and this EMT picks up my medicine bottle and suddenly gets all snotty and rude to me, whispering "She's bipolar" to her co-worker and fixing me with a sneer. Like my hives were a hallucination I dragged them into? Sheesh.

On the other hand, both my dentist and my doctor have relatives who are bipolar and they were just awesome to me.

Hey! Maybe I should combine a few of my talents and go on the road with a Bipolar Awareness Kararoke Tournament!