As if I Didn't Hate Rich Kids Enough!

This whole "If she's from a wealthy family and goes to Harvard, obviously she can write bestsellers!" idea must be expunged from the minds of publishers, publishing agents, and associated riff raff.

Although I'm sure fake writer James Frey is to thank for the public flogging of Kaavya Viswanathon, there is another plagiarist sweetie-pie who went to Harvard and got a book deal, whom Kaayva should have studied very closely. This girl's first book was wildly successful, prompting reviewers to call her "courageous" (for writing a sloppy memoir?)and a straight-to-DVD movie was produced, starring Cristina Ricci. The author's crappy second book absolutely tanked.

In all the blathering about what an exciting talent this girl had, an inconvenient fact was overlooked: Plagiarism. Specifically, staggeringly self-absorbed writer Elizabeth Wurtzel was fired from the Dallas Morning News in 1988 for being a great big copycat.

Prozac Nation was published in 1994. In the in-between years, Wurtzel was a music critic for major magazines that presumably checked her references. Was she not a child of priviledge, I sincerely doubt she'd ever get another journalism job. She went to Yale Law after the failed second novel, so don't fret about what poor, widdle Elizabeth Wurtzel is doing now.

Jealous, me? No way. I never will wonder if something I "over-achieve" was helped along by greased palms, Mummy, Daddums, or friends-of-my-parents'-friends. That's the game, "everyone" who matters plays it, it's all lies, favors, power and influence. That is a world I want no part of, and I'll shoot them if they come near my kids.

New York and LA are choked with these precious offspring, and few of them deserve all the wonderful things they have. Yes, rich kids been around since tribal times, but doesn't it seem there's shitloads more of them these days, and they are louder, greedier, and more loathsome than ever before? Do I have to mention Paris Hilton?

Maybe these rich people should be forcibly sterilized, to prevent their idiotic offspring. We already know how they turn out; it would lower the out-of-control white-collar crime rate and open space in higher learning institutions and great occupational opportunities for kids with intellectual ambition, a sense of decency, and a good work ethic. We would be doing society a favor!

I am so digusted right now, it ain't funny. Down with rich kids! Boo! Don't give them book deals, you sonsabitches!

On How to Be a Worthy Rich Person