Deformed!

You will never in a million billion years guess what me and Jimi Hendrix have in common (and no, it isn't bipolar disorder)!

I visited my Orthopedic surgeon recently, about my decrepit knees. While Dr. W and I were chatting about glucosamine, his PA came into the room with Xrays of my legs. The three us gazed at my bones and Dr. W pronounced the chondromalcia patella not so bad after all.

Suddenly, he grabbed my hands and asked his PA to take a look at my wrists. "Look at this! Madelung's deformity--and it's bilateral!" The PA tried to hide her shock, but couldn't resist touching them. They talked to each other about how to fix it, white I gazed at my poor old pointy wrists. Basically, the ulna bone pokes out too far where it meets the wrist bones. The surgery to fix it is so extensive, it's out of the question. Besides, I never think about my deformed wrists unless someone points them out.

Naturally, I've been teased about them my whole life. Big deal. The bad news is I cannot flatten my hand, so I suck at yoga, volleyball and gymnastics (which is why I switched to ballet in 6th grade). Other than teasing and sports limitations, it is not much of a deformity. I can't gross people out with it, or get character-actor parts because of it. Although when people do stare at them I can't resist bending them grotesquely and pulling a face.

I don't wear bracelets, they just sail off my arm. Which makes escaping handcuffs a breeze (more on that another time).

When you actually think about all of things that can go wrong in producing a human being, genetically speaking, I'm pretty thankful I got away with pointy wrists, bad knees, and bipolar disorder.

Besides, Jimi Hendrix had the same wrist deformity in both wrists, and he did alright.