Monday, May 01, 2006

Beauty Contests




My friend Bushwick Bombshell is in the running for Miss Blogger 2006, and I hope she wins. She's lovely, smart, funny, and a first-rate blogger.

I believe beauty contests are usually ridiculous displays of too-blonde, too-tan and too-fake boobery. This is because the judges are usually stupid, horny guys. Actually, any contest between female contestants, whether talent, Halloween costume, or spelling bee, seems to degenerate into a decision on "Who would the average male most want to hump?". This Dr. Blogstein--while probably a horny guy--doesn't appear all that stupid; he will probably judge the ladies fairly.

I wish I had a beauty contest story to share--do you have one? Having complete strangers judge me on my looks against a row of perma-grinned Malibu Barbies never held my interest, but I've always wondered what it's really like behind the scenes. A lot of Prep H, super glue, and AquaNet? Do Tell!

3 Comments:

Blogger threetoedsloth said...

I thank you for your support, madam! Being in one of these things really doesn't feel too much different from running for high school student council. Of course, I didn't do so well with those old student council campaigns...

12:10 PM  
Blogger LisaBinDaCity said...

Don't forget the vaseline on your teeth so they don't stick together when you smile endlessly. I got THAT little ditty from a former Miss America ;-)

6:14 AM  
Blogger marty said...

Why can't there be contests for us ugly people? Miss Ugly America.

I'd watch that.

10:26 AM  

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