What About the Ring Around Uranus?

By the way, except for getting trapped in the hallway with the snack machine like the dirty diet cheater I am, I had a sensational first day of interning. No coffee-fetching or endless photocopying at this job (thank you, all that is holy!) and the people are all very nice--even at the marble and gilt HQ, where I went to get my ID badge. All in all, my life rules at this very moment.

Back to the newly-discovered ring around Saturn: I've had quite enough of my planetary beliefs being shattered this year, thank you. Pluto, not a planet? WTF? Mars not at all like we thought? Ice on other planets not really ice? Ok, that's enough. Don't even get me started on the faked-moon-landing controversy. Is nothing sacred?

Contemplating the nature of the universe and all the wonders therein is not for the nostalgic, the weak of heart, or me. I have enough perspective--gained from right here on Earth--to keep me on the straight and narrow.

So I ask the newswire readers, the science and science fiction geeks, and all related weirdos to please lay off publishing every little comet fart as news. Some of us need plenty of warming up to "news" about the universe. Save your news feeds for really important things, like space travel mishaps and life discovered on other planets. Anything less you go ahead and publish in the appropriate nerd journal.

With all the natural disasters happening on this planet, we've already got a full existential freak-out dance card.

On that note: Stop Plate Tectonics!