I *heart* Thanksgiving

Hello? Overeating, football, booze, family squabbles, and getting the Hell out of NYC for a few days? Of course I love Thanksgiving.

Even though I am of (thin) Native blood, I don't get my thong twisted about politics on this holiday (more so Columbus Day, which is bogus for several reasons). Genocide of several hundred years ago was senseless and tragic, and the effects are felt to this day, but Thanksgiving isn't about putting down the red man.

Speaking of cultural appropriation, genocide, and squashing pagans, I hate Xmas.

Anyway, jumping giblets, people, Thanksgiving is a much more meaningful family holiday than stupid Xmas, and you know it. People aren't stressed, bankrupt, and depressed on Thanksgiving. You see your family, you eat too much, you watch the game, and you rest your fat ass on the couch with your feet up on the coffee table.

Trouble's Family's Thanksgiving Traditions (We're All About Options!)

* Green bean casserole and broccoli casserole. Suck it up.
* Stove Top stuffing for the pussies, and the homemade PA Dutch style "filling" with the turkey guts and sausage in it for the rest of us. Mmmmmmm!
* Big, fat, roasted turkey and revolting-looking ham.
* Both the can-shaped and the berries-and-sticky-seeds cranberry sauces
* Roasted, mashed new potatoes and regular, white, lump-free mashed 'taters
* Potato dinner rolls
* Gewurztraminer by the barrel
* Pumpkin pie, chocolate cake, and my homemade biscotti (recipe available upon request)
* My dad gives a moving prayer, during which my stepmom tells him to hurry up, the food's getting cold.
* My younger brother shows up several hours after the dishes have been washed and put away, and will complain we left nothing for him.
* My dad will fall asleep in his recliner almost immediately after sitting down.
* Superfly boyfriend will fall asleep on the sofa immediately after sitting down.
* Phone calls from out-of-state family will trickle throughout the day.
* Me, Trouble Jr., and my stepmom will look at old photographs and talk about Jr.'s college plans.
* The pie and the wine won't make it, but the turkey and barely-touched ham will last into the next week, thanks to my stepmom's hypervigilant storage/freezing techniques.
* I will fall asleep halfway-through watching and (laughing my ass off at) The Ref.

Wishing you a warm and happy Turkey Day. May you be gobbled.