Boob News

Surgeon says it's a cyst of impressive size that likely isn't cancerous, they won't know for sure until they dig it out on Feb. 8 and look at it under a microscope. That's the good news. The bad news is that if any eensy bit of the cyst is nasty, I'm in deep doo-doo. Because the cyst is wedged into what she described as the Lincoln Tunnel of ducts and the cancer would zoom through like Jersey kids on a Friday night.

I joked to my very pretty surgeon about her taking a bribe to remove both my breasts in their entirety and she said, nonplussed "That shouldn't be hard to arrange, provided your insurance company accepts the volume criteria. No bribe necessary."

How about that? Life without gi-knockers. Woot! Woot! Maybe this time the fuckers won't grow back even bigger and eventually spring a leak!

*squirt!*