Progress in Baby Steps

I have an anger problem. When I observe people doing and/or saying stupid things, I get disproportionally angry with them. Also, I hold massive, rock-solid grudges. Until Superfly pointed it out to me, I was oblivious to having this problem. It's an unhealthy way to live and, since I suck all that anger inside through my gritted teeth rather than unleash it, it really only hurts me. I want to change, to resolve all this anger and be free of it. My therapist is super nice and helpful, my boyfriend has one eye on me and one eye on the nearest exit.

So last night, my friend K-Money and I went out to karaoke. Same place we always go, same people we always see. Except Bobulah was feeling blue and stayed in.

In walks the trio of girls I made fun of in an earlier post for being young, dumb, and on a slippery slope towards slut. Hugs and air kisses ensue, allowing me a good view of a necklace one of them had on. It was a Star of David pendant, only with a cross in the center.

I didn't know Jews for Jesus were in Lancaster! "Where did you get that?" I asked, fury mounting. "Oh, isn't it cute? My friend got it in Israel for me." And she sashayed away.

Am I a spokesmodel for Judaism? Absolutely not. Yet righteous indignation was threatening to overpower my reason and sense of decorum and strangle the girl with her own necklace. This is a perfect example of my problem: it's no business of mine if people wear dumb things and I have no right or reason to get angry.

When you're angry, of course, you don't care much about all that. I fumed silently for a few minutes, discussed the situation with K-money, and decided to try a different tact.

I approached the girl, smiling, and asked if I could speak with her privately. Then, I complimented her on the necklace before launching into a delicately-worded explanation about why some people might be offended by it, as an F.Y.I. Clearly not comprehending the words coming out of my mouth, she smiled and nodded. Then she said, "Gosh, I just think it's cute. See, I'm Christian and my friend is Jewish, and...it's like one of those 'Best Friends' necklaces, you know?"

Yeah, I know. And when you put it like that my anger vaporizes. So what if she wears that thing, or a pink glitter swastika pendant? It has nothing to with me.

Folks, that's what we call a "breakthrough". Pretty soon, I'll be so gentle and peace-loving, I'll have to get a new nickname!