Wednesday, July 12, 2006

Thoughts From the Couch

Had my therapy appointment today. I really do like Dr. F, he's young, hip, funny, and way too smart for his own good. I especially like that he won't hesitate to call "Bullshit" on his clients, in this case: me.

These days we are discussing anger. It may surprise you to learn I have a bit of a temper and some problems controlling it. Sometimes it means I frown and cross my arms, sometimes I go wild-eyed apeshit all over your ass. Dr. F. and I both wish to discover the root of this rage so we might work on relieving me of it.

Today's lightbulb moment: Ridiculous Standards

In which I hold myself and everyone around me to impossible standards of behavior and punish the offender with unholy rage. Sometimes, I do this pre-emptively, as in, "I fucking know so-and-so is going to do..." [Urge to kill, rising, Rising!] Often, people don't even know that I wish to stab them in the eye.

Where my infernal rage and desire to act right and be polite merge is the place you want to avoid. Therein lies the smoking carcasses of well-meaning or foolish people willing to take on a whirling, expletive-screaming, plate-hurling dervish of enraged she-devil. Of course, once the dust settles, I grab the broom and some Febreeze.

Dr. F. specializes in Anger management. He is a little afraid of me.


Blogger Leave It To Cleavage said...

After what you describe, I'm petrified of you. I still love you dearly and think you're a goddess, but I'm very afraid. I'll just leave the chocolate and beer and be on my way. I think it was the stabbing in the eye that scares me the most.

I only suffer from murderous rage when I'm PMSing.

7:38 PM  
Blogger marty said...

Nice Trouble. Good girl. Nice Trouble!

8:01 PM  
Blogger Absinthe said...

LOVED your comment on Gawker re the Hipster and the B&T. "Laff riot" indeed. If any sketch comedy show today were still worth watching, they'd have jotted that idea down. But they aren't. So they didn't.

9:11 AM  
Blogger Trouble said...

...Which leaves it up to you and me, absinthe! It could be our ticket to the D-list, baby.

4:02 PM  
Blogger Absinthe said...

The D-list looks like the sweetest place to be, anyway. You still get to go to all the parties (Nicky Hilton, anyone?), drink yourself into oblivion on someone else's dime (Brandon Davis, anyone?), and look like total caca (Olsen twins, Mischa Barton, and Bai Ling, anyone? anyone? paging Ms. Bai Ling...) and the media will still treat you like you're Elizabeth Taylor circa 1958. You'r right, we're onto something...

7:35 AM  

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