Thursday, July 13, 2006

*Warning!* Political Rant Ahoy!

Tuesday night, my sweet-cheeked friend Bobulah and I went to the local gay bar Tallyho ("The Ho" to us in the know) for a night of karaoke. I whined and sighed exaggeratedly, knowing it to be a smoky deathtrap and I allergic to cigarette smoke in such oppressive quantities. In any case, the object of Bobulah's desire eventually turned up, as expected. They are teeth-shatteringly adorable together.

Somehow, the subject of religion comes up in our conversation. Bobulah said something to the object of his affection about me being Jewish. "Really?" He said, and turned his whole body on his barstool to face me. "Can you tell me about this Palestine thing? Why won't Israel give up some land for them?"

If he's reading this, Superfly just said, "Oh shit." He knows that tempting Trouble into political debate is always a bad idea for everyone involved, especially Superfly, who never is involved but always suffers the fallout.

Let's review:

First, there is no such thing as "Palestine" or "Palestinians". When the Jewish state was re-established in the Middle East after several centuries of diaspora, the people living there were Jews and various tribes from various neighboring countries. None of them were "Palestinians".

Once Israel kicked the crap out of Egypt it became an enemy of Islam. Since then, Islamic nations have called for the destruction of Israel. Instead of absorbing the Arab and Persian people living in Israel (who didn't wish to live in a Jewish state) into their vast Arab and Persian countries and cultures, the leaders of the Arab and Persian countries rejected them, telling the homeless refugees that the land of Israel was actually their ancestral home, and that they ought to destroy Israel and take "their" land back. This meshugas started over fifty years ago.

Nowadays, you have Islamic Militants training and brainwashing generations of Israeli Arabs into believing this lie of "Palestine" and Israel's "occupation" thereof. I'll tell you what: Israel will stop blowing up "Palestinians" when "Palestinians" stop suicide bombing and plotting to destroy Israel. I feel bad for the Israeli Arabs too: foreign militants are using them as decoys and human shields and lying through their turbans about their rights and roles.

If these Arabs need a homeland, there are gigantic neighboring countries rich with oil that can reasonably assimilate them, if it didn't serve their political purposes to refuse them. They are pawns of Militant Islam, not victims of Israel. Israel has every right to defend and protect her citizens from terrorism.

Looking at a map of the Middle East, you have to be surprised at the tiny piece of real estate responsible for so much war. And for what? Israel maintains its right to exist; the rest of the Middle East badly wants to wipe it from the map. Put in such simple terms, it all seems ridiculous. Yet more people die on both sides everyday towards one side's agenda or the other.

My solution? Offer the "Palestinians" a deal: become Israeli citizens or find asylum in another country. Reaffirm Israel's borders and offer to bomb Iran, Syria, Iraq, Lebanon, and Saudia Arabia back to the stone age if they even look crossways at Israel. Allow Israeli Arabs every opportunity to practice their religion and culture within the fabric of Israeli society--up to the point they run around with M-16s and blow themselves up in nightclubs.

Do I hate Arabs? No. I have only one Muslim friend, and he's a pretty low-key guy. I'm friendly to the many Arabs in my neighborhood. I don't actively hate a whole populace. That takes more commitment and lots more lunacy than I'm willing to put forth.

I do specifically hate Ann Coulter and Paris Hilton, though. Oh, yes.

Lesson learned: Don't ask me about politics unless you really want to know what I think.

7 Comments:

Blogger Kmoney said...

Unfortunately the American media knowingly or not, portrays the "Palestinians" as the tragic character looking for his home, with Israel being the bully that forces them into refugee camps.

If I were ignorant to the situation I would probably feel bad for "Palestinians" (as a whole) sometimes. However you educated me about this a couple years ago so I know better now than to refer to "Palestinians" without quotations marks.

One thing I am curious about...What is the difference between an Arab and a Persian? Is a persian just a person that isnt Muslim but is of Middle Eastern descent?

7:46 PM  
Blogger Trouble said...

Persians are not all Muslims. Some are Christian and a few are even Jews. Usually Persians and Arabs don't get along.

8:23 PM  
Blogger Leave It To Cleavage said...

I'm not political, so I don't have a related comment, but I do enjoy reading your political posts for the educational purposes.

4:54 AM  
Blogger Boogie said...

There are a few problems with your solution, although I completely agree with it in theory. In practice, however, there's this little thing called "oil" which happens to prevent Israel, and the US, from making that bombing of Iran and Syria (the two biggest -- current -- contributors to the unrest that is taking place in general in the Mid-East). If the US wasn't hooked on oil like a junkie needing his next heroin fix, then this strategy would have happened in '79 when Iran took Americans hostage. The problem is that the unrest isn't just societal or religious; it's economic.

And as Iran closes in on nuclear capability, with the Israel/Lebanon conflict spiraling into increasingly dangerous territory, this game is going from petty cash stakes to all-or-nothing. Israel sent a sortie over Assad's palace two days ago; the next sortie, I'm guessing, drops bombs. But Iran, with the potential for nuclear capability, could very well jump in -- and if that happens, it will be an entire region at war. That's not to say that the region is and has already been at war in one form or another for the past sixty years; but when there are nuclear weapons on the table (don't forget, Israel's got some of their own), this could easily coast into dangerous waters.

One thing's for sure: it's going to get a lot worse before -- if -- it gets any better.

7:06 AM  
Blogger Bobulah said...

there was a time where i thought that the u.s.'s contribution to the solution was simple: stop supporting israel. after your rant the other night, my mind is clear. we must support israel and ensure that it remains in existence.

we are pretty cute together, aren't we? hehe.

8:54 AM  
Blogger Trouble said...

SO cute together, B.

Boogs, you're 100% right (of course) about the oil-above-all-else aspect of U.S. Foreign Policy determinations.

Something wrong with taking over oil operations (by force) and smart-bombing around them? Heh heh. I hear there's a bunch of unemployed American oil & gas workers...

12:29 PM  
Blogger Boogie said...

Smart-bombing around oil operations...LOL. The biggest problem with that concept -- even if we could somehow eliminate every "evil-doer" throughout the entire region with one big (but careful) bombing campaign -- is that there's China, Russia and Venezuela with which to contend. That assumes we could delete Syria and Iran -- the former being an unknown power (a la Iraq) and the latter being close to nuclear capability -- without a concern. And on top of that, it's not like North Korea and good ol' Kim Jong-il would just stand by and watch -- they're already convinced the US has the North Koreans dialed in on the good ol' ICBM speed-dial.

Yep...I know you were kidding ;) But even half-jokingly, there's no way we could -- or ever can -- legitimately erase countries even if they sponsor terrorism, possess malcontents with dangerous, portable weaponry, or harbor fugitives from justice (the name Osama bin Laden keeps popping up like in a "Whack-The-Mole" game).

Personally, I think the possible strategy of the US withdrawing support of Israel, aside from resulting in the eventual destruction of Israel, would not suddenly achieve the desired result of all the region's terrorists turning in their rocket launchers and becoming dyed-in-the-turban supporters of the US. These are nomadic, uneducated warriors; they need someone to fight. If they couldn't fight Israel and America, they'd fight each other and (eventually) destroy the one thing the Middle East has that the rest of the world wants -- oil.

Or as I've observed in the past: "They've been fighting for 2,000 years by killing each other and themselves; most likely they'll be killing each other and themselves in 2,000 years from now. It's always been that way and it always will be."

Oy.

7:02 AM  

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