Plenty A/C in A.C.

One moment, me, DJ Star, and Alem (most fabulous Bosnian-German Muslim, ever!) were soaking in some frightful karaoke at the Lodge; The next, we were speeding down the turnpike towards Atlantic City at 1:30am. Why, you ask? Why the hell not!

Three irrepresible and irresponsible fools cracking wise and trying to get stupid songs stuck in each other's heads, munching on FunYuns (me) and Skittles (them) and discussing things of a decidedly indelicate nature, rocketing down the road in a banana yellow Jeep with a leaky A/C. Jealous much? I thought so. We reached our starter casino, the Sands, and floated ecstatically in the deliciously frigid A/C.

High rollers we are not. Alem and I are afflicted with similar "Ooh, look! Shiny!" and vanishing cash problems. Star's been to AC so many times, the bums call out to him from their boardwalk bench perches. He plays a respectable electronic poker but loses his shirt on blackjack. We casino-hop and collect Rewards cards. Our Captain, Adam, can't be with us but calls every few minutes to hear about the fun we're having without him. Everybody now: "Awwwwwwww"

At my insistence, we make for the Boardwalk to see the sunrise, which ends up being a hideous orange orb in a filthy haze. Locking elbows and launching into a smoke and sleep deprivation-tinged, croaking rendition of "We're Off to See the Wizard", we make our way back to the Sands. What's this? Police and an ambulance parked on the Boardwalk, and a soggy and sobbing girl in her bra and shorts, being tended to by unmoved paramedics. What kind of glactic idiot goes for a daybreak swim in Atlantic City?

The boys were extremely pleased with their decision to invite me along for this adventure when they learned I'm an insomniac. Ergo, I was designated driver while those oafs snored their brains out from the instant I turned over the ignition.

Thanks to the leaky A/C in the Jeep, we drove home with windows wide open for the hot air outside to rush around and wreak havoc with my 'fro and cause an epic sweat. I do not complain about the heat. Know why? Well, partly because I have Satanic DNA, but mostly because I remember winter very clearly. Specifically, I remember the Blizzard of '06 and the terrifying feeling I'd never be warm again. So bring on that heat index, that stupefying humidity, the never-ending sweat and frizzy hair. I rejoice in Summer, in heat, and that's all there is to it.

Oh, I almost forgot: night before last I was invited to a pool party. OH MY GAW! That is the solution, my friends--midnight swims. Pleased to announce I won the underwater handstand contest and a freestyle swimming race, and held my own in pool football. :PREEN:

Someday, Superfly and I will live in a house with a pool. Let the sucking-up begin!