Yo Mama So Fat.. (from bangitout.com)

* she fell in love — and broke it
* she has to put on her belt with a boomerang
* I have to take a train, a plane, and 2 buses to get on her good side
* a picture of her fell off the wall
* her tailor takes her measurements in light years
* her picture takes two frames
* her favorite blouse is a tent
* her driver's license says "Picture continued on other side."
* when she goes to a restaurant, she even orders the "Thank You, Come Again."
* even her shadow has stretch marks
* when she gets on the scale it says "To be continued."
* her blood type is rocky-road
* her blood type is Ragu
* one day when she got in a fight and the person fighting her got lost in her
* she could sell shade
* she DJs for the ice cream truck
* she eats cereal out of a satellite dish
* she has to keep pesos in one pocket and yen in the other
* she has to iron her pants on the driveway
* after she got off the carousel, the horse limped for a week
* when she ran away they had to use all four sides of the milk carton
* when the police showed her a picture of her feet, she couldn't identify them
* when the cashier at KFC asked what size bucket she wanted she said,"The one on the roof"
* she sweats Crisco
* she uses bacon for Band-aids
* when she goes to the dry cleaners and hands in her underwear they say "sorry no parachutes accepted"
* that if she weighed 5 more pounds she could get group insurance
* when she went to the Rose Parade everyone thought she was a float
* when she wears heels, they're flats by the afternoon
* when she went to get a water bed, they put a blanket across the great lakes
* when she wears a yellow raincoat, people run after her and call "Taxi!"
* when she wears a yellow raincoat, kids line up behind her thinking she's the school bus
* when she wears a red dress kids yell "Hey Kool-Aid Man."
* when she was diagnosed with the flesh eating disease, the doctor gave her 7 years to live
* when she was born, she gave the hospital stretch marks
* she cut her leg and gravy dripped out
* she can lay down or stand up and her height doesn't change
* one day she was cleaning out her rolls and a car fell out
* NASA orbits satellites around her
* on a scale of 1 to 10, she's a 747
* I've got to tell two snaps just to cover her fat ass
* I saw her in New York, and when I told my friend in LA, he said he'd seen her too
* I saw a picture of her in a magazine on page 4, 5, 6, 7, and 8
* I ran around her twice and got lost
* she got hit by a truck and asked "Who threw that rock?"
* she goes to a restaurant, looks at the menu, and says "Okay."
* she fell in the Grand Canyon and got stuck
* she fell off a boat and the captain yelled "Land Ho!"
* I gotta take 3 steps back just to see all of her
* her belly button doesn't have lint, it has sweaters
* her belly jiggle is the first ever perpetual motion machine
* her belt size is equator
* even God couldn't raise her spirits
* even Richard Simmons laughs at her
* every time she wears high heels, she strikes oil
* her car is made of spandex
* her cereal bowl came with a lifeguard
* her college graduation picture was an aerial
* all of her clothes have to be custom made by a contractor
* her skates went flat
* she has to use sleeping bags for tube socks
* she jumped for joy and got stuck
* she jumped up in the air and got stuck
* she looks like she's smuggling a Volkswagen
* she looks like the Stay-Puff marshmallow man on steroids
* she made weight watchers go blind
* she makes sumo wrestlers look anorexic
* she pulls up a chair to an all-u-can-eat buffet
* she puts mayonnaise on aspirin
* she puts on her lipstick with a paint-roller
* she don't know whether she's walking or rolling
* at the zoo, the elephants started throwing her peanuts
* when she turns around, people throw her a welcome back party
* when she goes swimming she gives the pool stretch marks
* when she walks across the living room, the radio skips
* when she went to the beach Greenpeace tried to haul her back into the ocean
* you can pinch an inch on her forehead
* when she travels, she's gotta make two trips
* when she takes a shower, her feet don't get wet
* when she walks in front of the T.V., you miss 5 minutes of your show
* when she wears corduroy pants, the ridges don't show
* you can't even see her legs, it just looks like she's gliding across the floor
* when she steps on a scale, it says "One at a time, please."
* when she saw a yellow bus going down the road she yelled "Hey! Stop that Twinkie!"
* when she played hide-n-go-seek, she hid behind a water tower
* when she runs she makes the CD player skip — at the radio station
* when she ordered a "My Size Meal" at McDonald's they gave her the key to the store
* when she hauls ass, she has friends come help
* when she hauls ass, she has to make two trips
* when she ordered a "My Size Meal" at McDonald's they gave her a dinosaur
* when she goes to the circus she sees the big top and asks "Where can I try that on?"
* when she goes to the beach, little kids yell "Free Willy, Free Willy!"
* when she goes to a restaurant, she doesn't get a menu, she gets an estimate
* when she gets in an elevator, it has to go down