Flushing

(No, I'm not in Queens today.)

After many years of pooh-poohing the idea of fad diets, I embarked this morning on Anne Louise Gittleman's Fat Flush Plan. Over the weekend, Superfly and I saw a friend we hadn't seen for about a year and she looked stupefyingly amazing. She credited only Gittleman for her scorching bod. I remembered reading about the Plan in Oz Garcia's book a few years ago and whatever Oz says, goes, as far as I am concerned. $22 for the book and $77 at the grocery and health food stores later (No wonder rich people are thinner!), I'm raring to go.

Flaxseed oil cannot be heated: No problem. Cranberry Juice, unsweetened: Check! I, who am loath to give up anything at all, ever, am giving up: coffee, alcohol, dairy, salt & pepper, soda, all sugar, white flour, and everything else I like, for two weeks.

Let me just say this: scrambled eggs are MEANT to be mixed with cheese, a dollop of milk, and some seasoning. Scrambled eggs, plain, with spinach, green pepper, scallions, and parsley? Hot water with lemon instead of coffee? I had more fun getting my teeth cleaned earlier this morning.

Unlike the well-known program TK is trying out, the Fat Flush Plan aims to cleanse the liver, not the colon. Sort of "heading the fat off at the pass", if you will. It promises weight loss, better health, and all-around well being. Neato! I shall stick to this Plan like Paris Hilton to paparazzi and let you know how it goes.

Meanwhile, if you've tried FF or know someone who has, please feel free to throwdown them testimonials in the comments section herein, bitches.