Week 2, Day 1

Great galloping herds! I lost 5 lbs. since last week--without exercising. Clearly, the Fat Flush Plan works. Week 2 features a more varied and less restrictive menu, which I will supplement with daily workouts. No, Marty, I have no aspirations toward acting stardom: the diet is pure vanity, the dental work extremely necessary and not exactly cosmetic. Not to mention painful. Took some painkillers last night and tripped my balls off for about 3 hours, probably thanks to my sparkling clean liver.

For future reference: Oxycodone + chocolate shake = epic barfing