RIF

I used to live to read. Books, magazines, cereal boxes, you name it. Because I was one of THOSE kids in school, in Gifted/Talented programs since 1st grade, the teacher would usually allow me to read something while the rest of the class caught up with the assignment. Reading became an escape from boredom, tedium and, eventually, existential depression.

Of course I started out with Nancy Drew, Judy Blume, and Roald Dahl. School assignments piqued interest in history, mythology and religion. My passion for Russian literature started with Dostoyevsky, Tolstoy, and Pushkin, but reading Nabokov really set me free. Sure, astounding intelligence, beautiful language and intriguing stories; what hooked me, though, was the clever word-play, the inside jokes, the riddles and puns. Not inserted into the stories---"Ta da!"---they were instead elemental to the story itself and discovering and gleefully solving them enhance the twists of plot or development of character to spine-tingly degrees, making the whole experience of reading a Nabokov a damn religious experience.

Naturally, this ruined me on almost all other writers. I read on airplanes and in Dr.'s offices, and usually feel ashamed, after. Everything I read now is so disappointing. The last book I read in one sitting, with the door closed and the phone off, soaking up every beautifully-written word was Infinite Jest, and that writer seems to have spent himself on that one.

Writers take themselves way too seriously. Possessing good skills in spelling and grammar do NOT make one a good writer. Nor does a gift for dialogue or an ability to turn a cute phrase. Attending a particular program at a particular university doesn't improve your writer-worthiness one bit. In fact, most working writers today are appalling hacks writing astonishingly boring and self-promoting drivel.

What's missing is art. Forget about voice, forget about storytelling. Where are the artists?


Note: I consider myself among the aforementioned lazy hack writers. I just try to keep it to a bare minimum.