Monday, July 23, 2007


Escort's Muppet-rific video for "All Through the Night"

With apologies to LB, who has a pathological aversion to blog videos. And to anyone who's already seen this 10 billion times.

This Friday, I'm taking my BFF Jaymie to "ABBA - The Tour" for a much-needed disco cheer-up at the famous Red Rock Amphitheater.

If you are someone who loves disco, it's time to get excited: Another disco revival is on its way. Personally, I couldn't be more thrilled.

The group responsible for the video here is Escort, a trio of Brooklyn musicians who seek to bring back the pure (read: no samples) songwriting and music of the days of Disco. Right on, Jack!

If The Three-Toed Sloth be reading, girl, there's someone out there compiling Shalamar reviews. Also, a video you oughta see.

Saturday, July 21, 2007

I done went to a party!

Caught mid-mock

Perfectly normal, nice people with stupefyingly boring jobs, getting their pretense on for a networking event. My head was about to explode with all the snarky, mean, totally inappropriate things I felt like saying.

Which is why me, the papparazzi-Superfly, and an unending pint of Guinness, sat way in the back, dark corner.

And yes, jerks, I know I'm all shiny. Everyone in that place was schvitzing like whores in church. And I'm all hunched over because the wooden benches there were sending spikes of pain up my spine as I sat upon them.

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Thursday, July 19, 2007


Ok, so I'm still mad at my teammates for taking their slow-ass time to complete and return our registration for the World Series of Pop Culture. If not for Bobulah and K-Money, my hot ass would be on your TV, owning this competition!

I'm owning it from the sofa. The teams I liked are out of the competition at the Semi-Final level. The team I absolutely hate, Twisted Misters, are improbably plugging along, making snide ageist comments and acting all ridiculously arrogant, seeing how they are all three complete tools. I have a sneaking suspicion they're cheating somehow.

If they actually win this year I will take extreme pleasure in knocking them back down to peanut size next year.

Hey, Twisted Misters? Be sure to use that $250,000 for zit cream, Lasik, and hookers! Someday you'll be men.

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Wednesday, July 18, 2007


Da Do Run Run, Indeed!

According to wiki, my third-ranking schoolgirl crush (after Gene Wilder and Starsky) is a thrice-married father of a gaggle of kids, a successful Hollywood producer, and an extremely competent bowler.

I can't find a recent photo of him online, but weren't he hunky back a-then?

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Tuesday, July 17, 2007


I don't believe in ghosts for a pretty simple reason: When I started taking medication for my bipolar disorder, the hallucinations I'd had since childhood (which I never knew were hallucinations, of course) stopped. Just like that. The sights, sounds and feelings people typically associate with hauntings (seeing and hearing things, extrasensory blah-blah) were absolutely normal occurrences for me, pre-Lithium.

Also, paranormal and demonology studies all seem to hinge on faith. The truer your faith in good spirits, the better off you'll be fighting the bad ones. Skeptics and Clerics alike agree that sometimes people need to see "good magic", in the form of exorcism (or any manner of folk medicine beat-it-bad-spirit ceremonies) in order to end the paranormal activity. It's a win-win: the subject chills the fuck out and the subject has newly-invigorated faith which gets them back in church.

I'm Jewish and don't believe in angels, ghosts, demons, magic, Tinkerbell or Santa Claus. Although I will concede that we humans have puny brains that likely cannot fathom the nature of a supernatural being, so I'm open to being proved wrong.

That said, I absolutely do believe in Hell and I do believe in Evil. I just happen to think both exist in the here and now — It won't take you but a moment to come up with very real examples of both. How it usually ends is by killing the evil person or people responsible for the abuse, torture, killing, murder, genocide, etc. Like excising a cancer. They are human beings that we recognize and understand and we know how to defeat them.

Are we serious in thinking that waving a crucifix around and mumbling at a supernatural being who boasts incredible skills like invisibility and telekinesis is going to be effective? Can you tell I have suspension-of-disbelief problems?

If I were to become a ghost when I die, instead of being zapped into universal energy, I think I would do something other than throw plates around some Catholic family's house. Perhaps stupid people become stupid ghosts? Anyway, I would do my best to protect my family in perpetuity, "guardian angel"-style. How about you?

Sidebar: People in the business of fighting ghosts, demons, or bad spirits will tell you that the evil in question draws strength from your fear and from the attention you pay it.

You know what? The same holds true for people in the news. The more we crack jokes and trade gossip about the celebs/trainwrecks/whomever, the higher their dirty, evil stars rise. So from now on, I won't mention a single festering butt sore of an interweb entertainment celebrity, under any circumstance. I urge you to do the same.

Together, with a little faith, we can defeat them!

My ghost story:

I moved into a rental house where the previous owner had died. Seems the secretly-alcoholic housewife went on a bender, fell down the steep basement steps and hit her head against the wall, knocking her unconscious. No one was there to help her and she died. The elderly neighbor who told me the tragic story warned me the house was haunted by the poor woman.

I didn't repeat the story, because I am not a superstitious person. I had zero weird or creepy experiences in that house, outside of dealing with my then-husband.

My friend Arturo came over for a dinner party one winter night. Arturo is half-Mexican, half-Navajo and all-superstitious. When he arrived, he was smiling, handed me a bottle of Cazadores Reposado (my fave), and stepped into the house with his girlfriend. He barely got past the guest bathroom before freezing in place. His girlfriend covered her mouth with her hands. I caught up to him and touched his arm. This man, all 250 lbs of solid beat-you-down muscle, was trembling. He looked like he saw a ...

Arturo and his girlfriend fled the party and he vowed not to return to my house until I promised to let him burn some sage. I needed his help on my 'zine, so I told him to ignite my whole Dean and Deluca spice rack, if he wanted. Not funny, I was told. But really, once that ceremony was over he never mentioned the ghost and spent many long nights working in the basement, a yard away from where the poor woman met her demise.

Got a ghost story?

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Tuesday, July 10, 2007

Hot Fun in the Summertime

I Heart Karaoke!

Have you booked your trip to Denver yet? I'm telling you, everyone that visited us from the East Coast recently is busily looking for jobs here to facilitate their relocation.

Best of all, Trouble Jr. ditched her plan to go to the culinary school in Philly to return to the Mile-High city for her higher education. Trouble Jr. and the Troublets all together, here with me? Shit yes!

What is the draw? Not the nightlife or sports teams, that's for sure. It's dream real estate for any kind of outdoor activity you can imagine; the weather is an awesome improvement on sweltering humidity and winter sleet; everything is MUCH cheaper; it's everything-friendly and hipsters are scarce.

The media scene here is like a TV reenactment of all the scare stories in the national media about layoffs, downsizing and the death of print media. I meet A LOT of freelancers/consultants, let's say. So, naturally, I am cooking up a scheme to improve the scene for everyone here.

I am an entrepreneur, you see, and I'm not happy unless I'm cooking up schemes. One day, an idea of mine will actually pan out. Promise.

Mostly, though, I am babying my poor broken back and trying to lose weight through sheer willpower. I start PT tommorrow and you know what that means — free massage!

Our guestroom and the wonders of Denver, Colorado await you!

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